Finally: We Got The Number One in Al Qaeda

We've captured the most senior Al Qaeda

....barber.

Really! He gave the best haircuts! You should have seen his scissors fly! The blunt cuts! Oh, and his work with the clippers: chilling in its exactitude! And what a colorist! Worked miracles with extensions! Facial hair a specialty! He could make Osama bin Laden look like George W. Bush in about 25 minutes! He could make any run-of-the-mill insurgent look like the no. 2 man in Al Qaeda!

Coming attractions: Over the next few months, expect that we will arrest 33 or so of the "2nd in command" to this most senior barber.

You think I'm joking, don't you? Gotcha.

Al Qaeda "barber" arrested in Iraq

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - U.S. forces in Iraq said on Saturday that they were holding a man suspected of acting as a barber to senior al Qaeda militants and helping them change their appearance to evade capture.

The man, named as Walid Muhammad Farhan Juwar al-Zubaydi -- "aka 'The Barber,"' the U.S. military statement said -- was arrested in Baghdad on September 24, the day before U.S. troops caught up with and killed a militant they described as the most senior al Qaeda leader in the capital, Abu Azzam.,

"'The Barber's' duties included altering senior al Qaeda in Iraq members' appearances by dying hair color, altering hairstyles and changing facial hair in their efforts to evade capture," the military said in the statement.

Also detained on September 24 was Ibrahim Muhammad Subhi Khayri al-Rihawi, the military said, naming him also as Abu Khalil and calling him a "close associate" of Abu Azzam.

"(He) served as an executive assistant for the terrorist emir. He also acted as a banker for Azzam and stored the terrorist organization's funds so they would not be confiscated should Abu Azzam be killed or captured," it added.

Abu Azzam was described by U.S. commanders after his death as second only to Abu Musab al-Zarqawi in the Islamist network's organization in Iraq.

U.S. forces are keen to show progress in tracking down insurgents.

What's next? The most senior chef? The most senior dialysis nurse? The most senior food taster?

Wanted, dead or alive.