Fake Russians Mock Palin

Funny.

Phonetic transcript:

soon as i wayk up in the morning
i go to my window
i made this teliscop myself out of duck tape and the thing that holds the rapping paper

so i can see if ur there
i fix it on ur howse in Alaska
my next door neybor here in moscow

what r u doing rite now lets see
r u and todd ok?
u say u can see me and my country from ur state well im looking at u evry day!!!

misses palin!
i want to fly into ur Airspase!
misses palin!
i want to reer my little Head!
misses palin!
why wont You reply to my Emails?!!
I made a teliscop for YOU and i luv u so

we share a small merry-time border but the borders of r harts is thick
u dont like news-papers well neether of us can say or reed english

we are madw for eachuther!!!
so fly ur playn my way
i live at 45454 RUSSIA AVE

repeet misses palin chorus

I say dog gone it you betcha you betcha dog gone it you betcha dog gone it say it aint so joe you betcha dog on it etc

"I Can See Russia From My House!"

This week's New Yorker cover:

Putin Rears His Head

"We have trade missions back and forth. We-- we do-- it's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where-- where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is-- from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to-- to our state."

- Sarah Palin to Katie Couric last week

Palin Is a Disaster of Epic Proportions

"I can see Russia from my house!"

If you have been watching the Katie Couric interview with Sarah Palin, you must know that she is not very bright, has no background in national or international issues, and is completely unqualified to be POTUS. Reportedly CBS has more Palin clips to release today -- and they are even worse.

There will be no vice presidential debate. At least, Sarah Palin will not participate in a vice presidential debate. There will be some excuse. Some crisis. Either national (economy? Russia?) or personal (kid with flu? projection vomiting? the preggo daughter goes into premature labor? moose on the loose in the governor's mansion? something.). Ed Schultz the radio host has this on his site today:

McCain Camp insiders say Palin "clueless"
Capitol Hill sources are telling me that senior McCain people are more than concerned about Palin. The campaign has held a mock debate and a mock press conference; both are being described as "disastrous." One senior McCain aide was quoted as saying, "What are we going to do?" The McCain people want to move this first debate to some later, undetermined date, possibly never. People on the inside are saying the Alaska Governor is "clueless."

There's no way they let her get whacked around for an hour and half on her own. There will be no debate, because she will never be ready for one. It is painful to watch her struggle to answer questions that she had to know were coming.

Not much love for the not-ready-for-prime-time governor of Alaska around the web.

Kathleen Parker, Dallas Morning News: How to solve this Palin problem?

Ms. Palin's recent interviews with Charles Gibson, Sean Hannity and now Katie Couric have all revealed an attractive, earnest, confident candidate. Who Is Clearly Out Of Her League.

Alessandra Stanley, NYTimes: A Question Reprised, but the Words Come None Too Easily for Palin

[I]t wasn’t a reassuring performance....[I]t may be hard for Mr. McCain’s running mate to recoup. It wasn’t her first interview on national television, but in some ways it was the worst.

LATimes: Palin talks to Couric -- and if she's lucky, few are listening

Her third nationally televised interview, with CBS anchor Katie Couric, found Palin rambling, marginally responsive and even more adrift than during her network debut with ABC’s Charles Gibson.

Atlanta Journal-Constitution: I’m sorry — Sarah Palin is a bad joke

Palin is living, breathing proof that John McCain lies when he claims to put this country first over politics. She makes Dan Quayle look like Albert Einstein with a better haircut.

Seattle Post-Intelligencer: Shameless and clueless Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin's interview with Katie Couric provided further proof that she is a clear and present danger to the nation.

The only people who can still say with utter sincerity that she is qualified to be a heartbeat away from the presidency are those who actually haven't a clue about what a president does. Once Palin gets sidetracked from repeating her simplistic talking points about being a maverick and cleaning up Washington and not ever, ever blinking in the face of a foreign threat, she quickly reveals the shocking shallowness in her knowledge of issues a candidate for high office should have contemplated long and hard.

I don't think she's stupid, I think she is much like George W. Bush -- incurious. She really hasn't thought about this stuff. Palin insults the intelligence of the nation when she makes claims about her qualifications that are patently ridiculous....

"I Can See Russia From My House!"

"They're in the state that I am the executive of."

dailykos: More painful Palin excerpts from Couric interview (video)

The more I see of this interview, the more I am convinced that this is why McCain suspended his campaign yesterday. Forget the bailout, his crisis is:

How do we solve a problem like Sarah? (lyrics below)

COURIC: You've cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

PALIN: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and on our other side, the land-- boundary that we have with-- Canada. It-- it's funny that a comment like that was-- kind of made to-- cari-- I don't know, you know? Reporters--

COURIC: Mock?

PALIN: Yeah, mocked, I guess that's the word, yeah.

COURIC: Explain to me why that enhances your foreign policy credentials.

PALIN: Well, it certainly does because our-- our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They're in the state that I am the executive of. And there in Russia--

COURIC: Have you ever been involved with any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

PALIN: We have trade missions back and forth. We-- we do-- it's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where-- where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is-- from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to-- to our state.

Maria/Sarah, The Sound of Music

How do you solve a problem like Sarah?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Sarah?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Sarah?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

When I'm with her I'm confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
She's as flighty as a feather
She's a darling! She's a demon! She's a lamb!

She'd outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle! She is wild!
She's a riddle! She's a child!
She's a headache! She's an angel!
She's a girl!

How do you solve a problem like Sarah?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Sarah?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Sarah?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

Well-Traveled?

The McCain camp is desperately trying to portray their empty dress Sarah Palin as having strong foreign policy credentials. Ludicrously, they claim that because you can see Russia from Alaska, or because Alaska is right next to Russia, she has foreign policy experience.

They've also attempted to present her as a citizen of the world who has traveled.

When she was chosen by John McCain as his running mate, aides said she had traveled to Ireland, Germany, Kuwait, and Iraq.

Let's look at the record, shall we?

Visited Ireland? LIE

Her "visit" to Ireland was an airline stopover at Shannon Airport. Maybe two hours in an airport lounge.

Visited Germany? Exaggeration.

She made a "morale tour" of Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Landstuhl, Germany. One day at most.

Kuwait? Yes. Two days.

Iraq: LIE

She never set foot in Iraq. Zero time in Iraq.

In the infamous Charles Gibson interview, Palin now claims to have visited Canada and Mexico.

The facts? Vacations:

Canada: Once, last year. No details available. (If there were details beyond it being a vacation, wouldn't the campaign have rushed them out?)

Mexico: On vacation. No details available. (I am thinking, Cabo counts as foreign travel?)

I own a two-year old suitcase that has traveled more than One-Heartbeat-Away Sarah Palin.

Boston Globe: Palin camp clarifies extent of Iraq trip
Says she never ventured beyond Kuwait border

Sarah Palin: "Cocky Whacko"

Dependable Renegade

That's what former Republican Senator from Rhode Island Lincoln Chafee called Sarah Palin yesterday. He also called her dangerous. He's right on both counts.

She holds whacky and dangerous views. In saying goodbye to her son who was deploying to Iraq, she said Iraq had caused 9/11 -- a view so extreme that even George W. Clusterfuck doesn't say that any more.

In her series of interviews with Charlie Gibson, she said that if Russia invaded Georgia, we would go to war (bottom of page, continues on to page 3). And starting World War III didn't phase her one bit. She delivered her answers in her bizarrely chirpy cheerleader voice as though it were perfectly normal to contemplate World War III. She'd be a war president.

Sarah Palin isn't lipstick on a pig. She's George W. Bush in lipstick, ready to be a war president but having no idea or concern about what that would mean for the country and for the world. A dangerous cocky whacko.

Read Liberally

What the heck happened in Georgia? Tristero at Hullabaloo points to an article in the NYTimes Review of Books explaining how the US helped Georgia rise to Russia's bait, with predictably disastrous consequences. (No one could have anticipated that Russia would fight back. Where have we heard that before?)

Voter caging is coming to a state near you. Mebe at dailykos points out that voter lists are being purged right now in Ohio, Louisiana, Michigan, Kansas, Florida, New Mexico, Colorado, and Nevada. And this year they're going after absentee ballots. Christy at firedoglake has a new "scholarly" article by Hans Von Vote Suppressor, and predicts that he is setting the stage for this year's election mau-mau by the Republicans, just as his previous articles set the stage for their voter fraud and voter caging shenanigans. Check that you are properly registered TODAY.

dengre at dailykos points out that Sarah Palin's $40 billion dollar natural gas pipeline will be both an environmental disaster and a boondoggle that will cost US taxpayers billions. And like all these hairbrained drilling proposals, there's no guarantee that the giant energy companies won't just sell all the gas to China anyway.

Josh Marshall outlines why the Charles Gibson interview of Sarah Palin will be unwatchable: Gibson has agreed to interview her over several days. He won't ask tough questions, because he won't want his access cut off. Journalism is dead, long live the bought and paid for corporate media.

Jill of Brilliant at Breakfast rips into NBC for dropping Olbermann/Matthews from their debate and election night coverage. Because the Republicans complained. No liberals on TeeVee! They're giving us David Gregory, the man who demonstrated his lack of journalistic integrity by dancing backup to Karl Rove at a White House press dinner. Lackey, anyone? Booman Tribune calls this the first GOP scalp in the war on the media.

Alaska blogger Mudflats (Palin: Republican Party Infiltrator?)has a video of the Vice Chairman of the Alaska Independence Party (the secessionists) claiming that Sarah Palin was indeed a member, and that she is only now a Republican to carry out their mission. Their founder Joe Voegler famously said:

“The fires of Hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government, and I won’t be buried under their damn flag!”