Of All People

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer addresses the media with his wife Silda Wall Spitzer at his office in New York, March 10, 2008.
(Shannon Stapleton/Reuters)

Eliot Spitzer? Mr. Clean? I spend a quiet afternoon in the studio & come home to the shocking news that Spitzer is named in a federal indictment as a man who was spending his hard-earned money on prostitutes. Very expensive prostitutes. (A friend noted, "He should shop around. There must be something out there for for less than that!")

Early speculation is that the investigation was triggered by suspiciously large cash transactions, that were reported by his bank to the feds. They thought he was being bribed, but he was being fluffed. (It's very hard to write about this without making bad jokes!)

The investigation is being run by Bush's politicized Justice Department. As one person noted in a comment at Harper's:

A reader emails with an interesting observation:

Amazing how Senator David Vitter’s name never leaked out of the Justice Department after the arrest of the D.C. Madam, but Eliot Spitzer’s name leaked out of the Justice Department within a week of the initial arrest in the Emperor V.I.P. case.

Vitter, recall, owned up to his dalliance with a prostitute after Hustler called him to ask for comment before publication. Not that employees of the George W. Bush Justice Department would ever act in a political fashion, of course. But it is curious.

Jane Hamsher raises more questions at firedoglake, and doesn't think this one passes the smell test. Glenn Greenwald asks, Who cares if Eliot Spitzer hires prostitutes?

I'd like to note that the Bush/Cheney cabal has been screwing all of us for seven years, and we're not getting paid, they are! And they're leaving us with a huge bill, and the streets are littered with the broken bodies of veterans and Iraqis maimed in their immoral war. Those are the people who should be prosecuted, not some poor schmuck getting his shaft waxed.

Initial reports were that Spitzer would announce his resignation at 7:00 p.m. but he didn't. I hope he doesn't. If it's just sex, who cares. Maybe someday the American people will grow up and there will be a book for adults like the popular kids book, "Everyone Poops". Everybody fucks. Get over it.

Grand Ol' Pervert Party

It's hard trying to keep up with all the Republican sex scandals. But it's important to keep this in mind when you hear Republicans bleating about family values. Here are the most recent Republican hypocrites who got caught. Oh, let's just call them Republicans; hypocrite is just redundant.

(1) United States Senator David Vitter (R-La): His telephone number appears on the DC Madam's phone list 5 times between October 12, 1999, and February 27, 2001 (fun fact: that was Mardi Gras!); two of those phone calls were made during House roll call votes. He trotted his wife in front of cameras during a press conference (video link) in which he refused to take questions; the look on his wife's face belied her strong words of support.

Mrs. Vitter couldn't resist a little slam at Hillary in 2000 when Mr. Vitter the john was simultaneously running for office and employing prostitutes. I bet she regrets those words today:

“I’m a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary,” Wendy Vitter told Newhouse News. “If he does something like that, I’m walking away with one thing, and it’s not alimony, trust me.”

A one-source story about Vitter's previous house of prostitution in New Orleans says that Vitter has a diaper fetish. Ewwww. I can't get the mental image of him standing on the floor of the Senate House outfitted in his diaper, calling Debra Palfrey's escort service during a Senate House rollcall, out of my mind. Wouldn't it be fun if, I don't know, Henry Hyde or some other Republican hypocrite (stop being redundant!), was presiding over the Senate at that very moment?

(2) Last week the chair of John McCain's campaign committee in Florida, Florida state Rep. Bob Allen was arrested for trying to give a police officer $20 to let Representive Allen perform a blow job on said police officer(CNN: 'an unspecified act'! They specified it plenty when it was Bill Clinton, and no money or public bathrooms involved.) in a public bathroom. Ewwww, in a public bathroom.

(3) Yesterday there was North Carolina State Representative David Almond, second term Republican. This headline from Alternet says it all: Republican State Rep. Exposed Himself to Female Employee, Chased Her Screaming, "Suck It"

Oh, but there's more. The female employee in question was reportedly his own legislative aide, a 63-year old widow. No wonder he was forced to resign, and

The State House wasted no time making changes. His name plate was removed from the voting board. All that remained on his desk was a bowl of Almond Joy candy bars.

(4) Today's addition is 74-year-old Republican North Carolina county commissioner (and retired Baptist minister) Coy Privette, who paid a prostitute for sex. He got caught when the prostitute apparently stole blank checks from him. He filed a forgery affidavit with his bank, which triggered a police fraud investigation. Bingo!

Charlotte Observer: Official accused of paying for sex
SBI: Cabarrus' Privette met with woman at motel in May and June

These are the people who think they have the right to judge others, and to ban same sex couples from marrying. Grand Ol' Perverts, indeed.