Sounds Good to Me

ABC News:
Movement to Scrap 401(k)s Gains Traction
Net Gains: Guaranteed Retirement Accounts Are Getting Attention in Washington

Sometimes Laughter Is the Best Medicine

The Dow dropped more than 700 points today, so what's a girl to do? Spread internet jokes far and wide:

FINANCIAL CRISIS:

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $54.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

Another cracked calculation:

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!

New Obama Ad: Economy

Transcript:

"In the past few weeks, Wall Street’s been rocked as banks closed and markets tumbled. But for many of you – the people I’ve met in town halls, backyards and diners across America – our troubled economy isn’t news. 600,000 Americans have lost their jobs since January. Paychecks are flat and home values are falling. It’s hard to pay for gas and groceries and if you put it on a credit card they’ve probably raised your rates. You’re paying more than ever for health insurance that covers less and less.

"This isn’t just a string of bad luck. The truth is that while you’ve been living up to your responsibilities Washington has not. That’s why we need change. Real change. This is no ordinary time and it shouldn’t be an ordinary election. But much of this campaign has been consumed by petty attacks and distractions that have nothing to do with you or how we get America back on track.

"Here’s what I believe we need to do. Reform our tax system to give a $1,000 tax break to the middle class instead of showering more on oil companies and corporations that outsource our jobs. End the ‘anything goes’ culture on Wall Street with real regulation that protects your investments and pensions. Fast track a plan for energy ‘made-in-America’ that will free us from our dependence on mid-east oil in 10 years and put millions of Americans to work. Crack down on lobbyists – once and for all — so their back-room deal-making no longer drowns out the voices of the middle class and undermines our common interests as Americans.

"And yes, bring a responsible end to this war in Iraq so we stop spending billions each month rebuilding their country when we should be rebuilding ours. Doing these things won’t be easy. But we’re Americans. We’ve met tough challenges before. And we can again. I’m Barack Obama. I hope you’ll read my economic plan. I approved this message because bitter, partisan fights and outworn ideas of the left and the right won’t solve the problems we face today. But a new spirit of unity and shared responsibility will."

Well, he's taking the high road. I prefer a 10-word telegram, myself, but Obama doesn't have one yet.

Bear Stearns Collapse: Who Gets Screwed? (Besides the Taxpayers) The Employees

I just heard on CNBC that Bear Stearns' 14,000 employees owned 1/3 of its stock. Probably part of their 401(k) and pension plans.

Bear Stearns stock was worth $159.36 per share on April 25, 2007.

Today it's worth less than $2 per share.

Atrios estimates that this is an average loss of $375,000 per employee.

Blogtopia* RoundUp, Thursday, June 14, 2007

Happy Flag Day!

The Solicitor General will not fight for defrauded investors -- even though dozens of state attorneys general have -- on direct order from Herr Bush. There go defrauded investors rights and probably the pensions of the Enron workers. Robert Borosage, commonsense.com: Bank Shot: Bush Shafts Enron's Victims, via The Left Coaster

Speaking of lawsuits, (the good) Roger Ailes skewers Robert Bork delightfully.

At HuffPo, comedian Kate Clinton riffs on the gay bomb. You heard that right, the Air Force requested $7.5 million to develop a bomb to turn our enemies gay.

I'm surprised this request for millions for the gay bomb wasn't approved, as the New York Times reports today that the Justice Department has been take over by theocrats enforcing nonexistent religious discrimination. Or, as one clever blogger put it: Crusading Crackpots Taking over the DOJ

Speaking of DOJ, the multiple investigations have gotten into the White House. Former White House Counsel and exclamation point lover Harriet Miers and former White House political director Sara Taylor have both been subpoenaed to appear before Congress. Taylor's US Attorney email messages, and those of her deputy, Scott Jennings, were both sent on their Republican National Committee email accounts. Subpoena duces tecum, anyone?