I'm on the Washington Post (online)

I don't know how these things happen, but last night while I was reading the Washington Post I read words that seemed very familiar to me: my own!

Howard Kurtz excerpted my post on the baseball hearings in his Media Notes Extra column on Friday!

Here's how Howie (or more likely, one of his minions) cut and pasted my post:

The MainSt.USA blog: "Conveniently, Sammy Sosa has lost his ability to speak English . . . Jose Canseco is an idiot, but he's the only honest player on this panel...Mark McGwire has shrunk a great deal from his playing days . . . Congress is full of cowards. No one has even managed to make McGwire take the 5th Amendment, although it's clear that the 5th is his fallback position. They're letting him get away with "I'm not here to talk about the past" and offering to become a spokesperson against steroids which is just ridiculous. So we know: McGwire was juiced. Roger Maris still owns the single season home run record as far as I'm concerned. The only guys who have exceeded it are Bonds, McGwire & Sosa, The Juice Boys."

I wonder how they found me?

And if you're reading again, Howie, or as one of the players might have addressed you during the steroid hearings, Mr. Kurtz, a real journalist would identify himself as married to Sheri Annis, a Republican media strategist who runs a company called "Fourth Estate Strategies" selling her right wing media expertise. A real journalist would say that before every column, kind of like "I approved this message", so we'd all know where you're coming from. In baseball terms, the Kurtz/Annis family bats right and throws right. Right, not left, not center, right. Just so we're clear. I know I'm just a lowly pajama-wearing blogger, but we like to know these things up front.

If you're reading this blog after clicking on the link in the Post, leave a comment, please.

Colonel Mustard in the Study with the Candlestick

I don't know how I missed this yesterday, but Sammy "I No Speaka Da English" Sosa gave a very lawyerly answer to the question, 'Did he do steroids?'. Tom Boswell in the Washington Post heard what I didn't: an answer with a loophole big enough to drive a hypodermic needle through.

And what of Sosa? He spoke in a soft voice. He brought an interpreter and a lawyer who read his statement for him despite the fact that those of us who know him from the baseball beat realize that he is perfectly fluent in English. That Sosa statement was a 99.9 percent total denial of any use of steroids. However, cynics may parse his words in search of legal loopholes.

"To be clear, I have never taken illegal performance-enhancing drugs. I have never injected myself or had anyone inject me with anything. I've not broken the laws of the Unites States or the laws of the Dominican Republic," Sosa's statement read. "I have been tested as recently as 2004 and I am clean."

It is an awful world we live in. Within minutes of the statement's dissemination a veteran baseball writer said, "So, I guess that doesn't quite cover taking steroids orally if they were prescribed legally by a Dominican doctor." .

I was so busy laughing at Sosa's assertion that he didn't use steroids that I missed the essence of his statement: He didn't deny it completely. Of course he didn't. He's one of the players whose steroid use made him resemble Mr. Potato Head.

Roger Maris and Henry Aaron are the home run kings, and these guys are the Juice Kings.

Baseball Hearings

I'm laid up today, so have watched much of the baseball hearings. A few observations:

1. Conveniently, Sammy Sosa has lost his ability to speak English. His statement is read by his translator. I laughed out loud when the translator read that Sosa denied doing steroids. Just look at a picture of him from 1999. He's a juicer. During the hearings he has perfected the befuddled look I remember well from doing worker's comp hearings with clients for whom English was a second language, supposedly, although they did fine speaking with me outside the hearing room. I sincerely doubt that his English is this poor. (n.b., see #7, below) As the hearings go on, his answers become more and more confused. "I don't know" is his favorite answer.

2. Jose Canseco is an idiot, but he's the only honest player on this panel. He is being the honest idiot he is. At least he is answering the questions about baseball steroid use somewhat honestly. Sadly, he truly believes he is a hero for writing his book! He testifies that the hearings are taking place solely because of his book. He takes the position that steroids are a huge problem during the hearing, while in his book he sings the praises of steroids. Dolt.

3. Mark McGwire has shrunk a great deal from his playing days. Sammy Sosa is also very much smaller than he was in "The Year That Saved Baseball". Neither has the steroid acne today.

4. Congress is full of cowards. No one has even managed to make McGwire take the 5th Amendment, although it's clear that the 5th is his fallback position. They're letting him get away with "I'm not here to talk about the past" and offering to become a spokesperson against steroids which is just ridiculous. So we know: McGwire was juiced. Roger Maris still owns the single season home run record as far as I'm concerned. The only guys who have exceeded it are Bonds, McGwire & Sosa, The Juice Boys. I'm with Jim Bunning -- throw those tainted records out.

And why Roger Maris isn't in the Baseball Hall of Fame, I can't believe, that's another injustice that should be rectified.

5. The most powerful testimony by far was from the parents of the two young men who committed suicide after taking steroids. They must be furious watching these baseball players avoid the questions.

6. The funniest testimony has to be from the doctor who advised MLB on their steroid policy. He was combative from the get-go, for reasons that are unclear to anyone watching the hearings from the outside. He got members of Congress to shout at him! Didn't look like he was enjoying his 15 minutes of fame.

7. New entry for funniest moment: Dennis Kucinich addresses Sammy Sosa in Spanish, and Sosa answers in English! Second language duel-off!

8. Saddest testimony: All these multimillionaire baseball players saying they didn't see much steroid use, or they just can't say. Curt Schilling denying what he said three years ago about players using steroids & human growth hormone (difference between then & today: Today he's a player rep! Deny everything!) All I gotta say to you guys is, no guts, no glory. Slink off. Shame on you all.

I reiterate my call for the tiny hypodermic needle to be placed next to all of the records of the juicers. In addition, Mike Greenwell (I saw him hit for the cycle in Fenway Park!) should be awarded Conseco's MVP award.

Sports Movies

ESPN has a couple of articles on their site about the greatest lines in sports movies:

Top 100 Sports Movie Quotes

From some players, their favorite lines from the movies:

Sports Movie Liners

Both of these articles missed a few great lines:

"Attitude reflects leadership, Captain."
- Remember the Titans

"Coach: What are you?
Players: Mobile! Agile! Hostile!"
- Remember the Titans

"Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them."
- Tin Cup

"Skip: You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!
Larry: Lollygaggers!
Skip: Lollygaggers."
- Bull Durham

I got my idea for this post from Basegirl, who loves Jason Varitek & his favorite quote.

Hey, what Red Sox fan doesn't love the Captain of the World Champion Boston Red Sox?

I'd also like to point that Curt Schilling in his testimony today worked "World Champions" into the first sentence of his opening statement. Good job Curt! (You d***ed Republican.)

No More Snow on Kilimanjaro

Via Billmon, here's a picture of Africa's tallest mountain. Global warming has melted all the snow that covered it for centuries.

Modernizing Hemingway

The Real Cost of War

When Veterans Affairs Secretary Anthony Principi resigned on Dec. 8 after four years of service, he said: "It is now time for me to move on to fresh opportunities and different challenges." The Preventive Psychiatry E-Newsletter states that the real reason for Principi's leaving the Bush administration is a burgeoning scandal developing around the massive use of depleted uranium (DU) munitions in Iraq. Executive director of Veterans for Constitutional Law in New York, Arthur N. Bernklau, wrote in the newsletter: "The real reason for Mr. Principi's departure was really never given, however a special report published by eminent scientist Leuren Moret naming depleted uranium as the definitive cause of the 'Gulf War Syndrome' has fed a growing scandal about the continued use of uranium munitions by the U.S. Military." Not mincing his words Bernklau continued, "Out of the 580,400 soldiers who served in GW1 (the first Gulf War), of them, 11,000 are now dead! By the year 2000, there were 325,000 on Permanent Medical Disability, a rate of 56 percent. In Vietnam the rate of disability was 10 percent."

This was a UPI piece, reprinted in the Washington Times (that liberal bastion) and I found it via the Art Pottery, Politics and Food blog. Here's the original link: The Laughing Man