Sometimes Laughter Is the Best Medicine

The Dow dropped more than 700 points today, so what's a girl to do? Spread internet jokes far and wide:

FINANCIAL CRISIS:

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $54.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

Another cracked calculation:

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!