Saturday, March 17, 2007

Adventures in Dell Hell

Yesterday I received new "Service Tags" in the mail for a Dell computer. Problem? Well, I did buy a computer last month. However, I bought it as a birthday gift (from my siblings and me) for Coach Mom. So the computer, while charged to my credit card, was shipped to her house in New York. It's her computer. The service tags should have gone to her.

So I called Dell. As usual, I got a person speaking English with a heavy accent -- India would be my guess. He read to me from the customer service script. I explained the situation and asked for the service tags to be reissued in my mother's name. He tells me he understands the problem. Simple, you would think.

Oh no. There is no way for Dell to do this, my helpful friend tells me. They cannot send my mother a new set of service tags in her name. Why not, I ask? It's your fault, after all. I placed this order over the phone, and the salesman knew it was a gift, and she was the owner. You shipped it to her. But there is no way for Dell to do this, he responds. It cannot be done.

The only way he could issue new service tags would be to ship her an entire new computer.

I burst out laughing, and then, I must admit, I berated him for a few minutes. That's the stupidest thing anyone has ever said to me on the phone! You'd rather send an expensive piece of hardware than a .39 cent letter! Are you an idiot? Do you want me to write about this on my blog? I have to write about this on my blog! Dell, descending to new depths of stupidity in customer service.

Finally, he agreed to change the Dell records to record Coach Mom as the computer owner, so all future correspondence will go to her. As for those customer service tags? I have to mail them to her. There's NO WAY Dell can reissue them.

Morons. No wonder their stock is tanking.

This blog will remain fairly quiet for the next few days as I am heading to New York today to pick up Coach Mom to go to Hartford to see the NCAA women's first and second round games there.

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