Call Daddy!

The little ditty was written in my friend Irene Zahava's writing circle, in Ithaca, New York:


T'was the eve of elections in GOP land.

George, Karl, Dick and Rummy, the Great Asshole Band

Were playing their song, "we're great," ad infinitum

Not knowing the people were all poised to bite 'em.

"Hey Karl" says our George with his head full of holes,

"Now you know I cain't read but I don't like these polls."

"The evening is young, George. Let's not make a fuss.

My strategic plan says the win is for us."

Dick sits on the side tying flies and just wishin,

"This sounds just like Katrina, I think I'll go fishin."

While Rummy who's smart feels his gut passing gas

As he's starting to think "I'll be out on my ass."

The evening wears on, the Dems can't be ignored,

But our prez reads the comics and looks pretty bored.

When the polls finally close Karl hits George in the head.

"Hey wake up buddy boy, I believe we're all dead.

It's the riff raff who've won, they want minimum wage.

They want health care and clean air, I'm just in a rage!"

Georgie panics and says, "They all think I'm a baddy,"

So he gets on the phone and he wails to his daddy,

"Daddy help me, I'm stumped. Help me please - please do sompin'

I'm afraid we've been walloped, it's a real Texas thumpin'."

"Now my boy, you remember in '04 way way back.

I slapped up your head, said don't go to Iraq.

But no, you had to beat me, show your dad you're a man.

So you marched into war, missing one thing - a plan.

OK this time you listen and you do what I say,

Follow all my advice and then you'd better pray.

First give Rummy the boot, he's the one they all hate.

And I'll get on the stick and deliver Bob Gates.

Then you get on the phone, say congrats to that Nancy.

Just say one or two words, you'll flub up if it's fancy.

Then get out on TV to the millions of folks.

And whatever you do, don't tell any dumb jokes.

You've just never been bright son, now you're a lame duck.

Georgie what can I say, face the facts, you've been fucked."


Written by Ann Wexler 11/9/06