Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Squirrel Fryer to Broker Republican Convention

Republican Party in crisis! Couldn't happen to a bunch of more malevolent, creepy dudes. McCain, the man conservatives love to hate, won 9 states last night, but more importantly, 455 delegates; the Mittwit hung on for seven (including some that he hasn't ever declared his primary residence, imagine that), and the candidate of the religious right, a/k/a "Squirrel Fryer", Mike Huckabee, won five.

So the Republican race goes on, even though Romney is reportedly having "frank discussions" with his staff today ("Don't spend the entire inheritance!" advisor Tagg cries) and McCain has declared himself the frontrunner.

Squirrel Fryer's acolytes, on the other hand, are calling for their man to broker the convention. From your lips to God's ears. I can hear his campaign song now. "We're gonna ban some evolution, yeah, you know we're gonna change the world...."

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